For the better part of four years I have been carefully cultivating a plan wherein Brian Austin Green tricks Megan Fox into marrying him but then at the last possible moment quickly switches some paperwork so that he ACTUALLY is only acting as a Proxy stand in for yours truly. She almost figured it out twice, but luckilly Mr. Austin Green was able to shift her focus to a hatred of Michael Bay or the ridiculous notion that she would ever even SPEAK to that Shia La Bamba boy from Transformers, let alone drive in his stupid Robot car. So now, all my plotting has paid off and I am updating the blog today from a private jet headed to Hawaii where I understand Brian Austin Green has Mrs. Megan Fox-Calmixx tied up and ready for shipping home to Geek Propaganda headquarters.
Please don’t send any gifts as knowing you all share my happiness is far more generous than I deserve.
Jobu – try to keep this ship away from the rocks while I go pick up your new Aunt Megan. Back soon . . .