Take for example this nice lady to the left. She runs a company called “Chubby Hubby Undies” that makes underwear for large men. Now at first I thought maybe she meant “large” men. You know what I mean. “Large”. The reason I thought this is because . . . you know what ? Let me just let you listen in.
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY – Hey, you wanna win some free underwear?
CALMIXX – I’m sorry?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- I started this company because men deserve nice underwear too!
CALMIXX- I’m sorry?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- Do you know what the biggest complaint I hear from men about their underwear is?
CALMIXX – I’m sorry; are you talking to me?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- They say the crotch is too tight.
CALMIXX- Well of course they do. What do you think they would say if you were asking them to complain about their underwear?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- Feel this underwear. (SHE HELD OUT A VERY LARGE PAIR OF SOFT KNIT BOXERS)
CALMIXX- Wait a minute . . . are you insinuating that I am chubby? Do you think I need custom underwear? What the hell are you doing at a comic book convention anyway?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- These underwear are made in the USA. Right here. Go ahead and feel them.
CALMIXX- Look lady; I was just passing by; good luck with your underwear business . . .
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- What time is it?
CALMIXX – What now?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- Do you know what time it is?
CALMIXX – Yeah sure, it’s a quarter to eleven.
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- Nope ! It’s time to give large men the underwear they deserve! They come in sizes up to 7X.
CALMIXX – 7X ? Seriously? Do you think I need size 7X underwear? Jesus Christ lady, I put on a few pounds since I hit 40 but 7X? Really?
CHUBBYHUBBYLADY- Do you want to be in a raffle for some free CHUBBY HUBBY UNDIES? All I need is your phone number and email address . . .
CALMIXX – Are you coming on to me lady? Is that what this is about? Are you some kind of weird chubby chasing, underwear making , fanboy stalking threat to decent society? For the love of Pete – WHO THE HELL NEEDS SIZE SEVEN X UNDERWEAR????
I stand corrected.
MORE SOON . . .