We are living in a terribly fragile condition. At any given moment there very easily could be a Zombie Apocalypse.
How are we to live carefree when we have to deal with the constant fear of zombies?
Is there anything out there that can preserve our flesh & tasty brains?
I’ll tell you what can;
Nerf Guns & Plastic Lightsabers.
What’s that I hear?
You poor, pathetic, cattle have no idea the power the a fore mentioned items hold over the undead masses.When a zombie sees you wielding both a Nerf-gun & a plastic Lightsaber he has no recourse but to panic causing an internal domino effect that culminates with the undead hunter automatically self destructing out of a very rational fear of decapitation.
If you don’t own either one of these masterful weapons I HIGHLY suggest you look into purchasing at least one of them if you want to increase your life span.
If you fail at obtaining these weapons for much longer, I fear you won’t even be here to ring in the new year. And that would be a shame, because if you are actually reading this it’s pretty safe to say you are a better than average composition of molecules and I would hate to see you become an appetizer.
It’s a dangerous world; I choose to be equipped with the proper tools to continue my existence, won’t you?
So please; if you enjoy life & want to continue living, purchase a Nerf-gun & a plastic Lightsaber today. It doesn’t matter what models you choose, be it the Maverick or Vulcan EBF-25 Nerf Gun, Sound effects or no Sound effects plastic Lightsaber, just as long as you are equipped with some form of these life saving essentials you should continue to produce thought through your still intact noggin.
If you act on this almost Sensei like knowledge that I have provided, your life shall continue to be prosperous not only through the Zombie Apocalypse but through the infinite amount of alien monster attacks that lurk on the horizon as well.
Rumor has it that after the zombies have been taken care of, there shall rise a swarm of unicorns that crave the taste of our luscious hair. But that’s just a rumor, so no need to be crazy gluing your hair to your scalp. Yet.
Good luck my friends and may your brains remain locked inside your cranium.
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