I had occasion the other day to think about Katie, the Star Wars girl. If you are not familiar with her story, you should read about her here and come back.
Are you back now? All caught up? Cool, lets begin.
As previously established on this very website,
I am a young woman who has a colossal admiration for all things geek.
There are plenty of ladies such as myself (and in the near future I suspect Katie) who would rather be at Toys R Us filling shopping carts with Nerf Blasters and voice changing Clone Trooper Helmets than at a bar filling our organs with cheap alcohol.
Sadly, when you live in a town that’s smaller than Bender’s apartment space…..You don’t frequently get the chance to interact with your own species. I fear the future while definitely brighter than it was for Katie when the internets first heard of her plight, is still not going to be a cakewalk. By the way; what the hell is a cakewalk? Does anyone actually walk on cake? Why? Gross…
This is an in depth look at what it’s like to be a girl who still has no idea what a Snookie is.
I went to get highlights at a salon recently (Highlights for my hair – NOT the magazine. If I wanted the Highlights Magazine I would have gone to the Dentist.) It was among the strangest days of my life.
All anyone wanted to talk about were the residents of the shores of Jersey.
What is this mysterious situation? Will it destroy our planet? And this thing called a Snookie, is it like a scientifically engineered puppy? Because if it is, I definitely want one and promise not to feed it after midnight!
I was asked to chime in on the “conversation” and all I could say was,
“Nuqjatlh?” (Klingon for “I don’t Understand” -editor)
Needless to say, Klingon wasn’t something those gals were familiar with.
When you’re a geek and/or gamer girl, you’ll find it hard to become *bffs* with girls who think that R2-D2 is just a new type of phone.
Now Katie, I’m not saying you can’t be friends with ladies who don’t appreciate sci-fi, it’s just not particularly interesting having to hear about someone else’s doomed love life all day long when the odds are good your own true love will end up frozen in Carbonite.
Yeah, I don’t care if their Zodiac signs are a total mismatch. Until you need my input about how Robot Chicken is the greatest show of all time? I’ll be pretending I’m a Transformer. Mind if I borrow two of your twenty purses? They’ll make lovely mud-flaps and serve as fore-arm armor when I flip out and become an assassin droid.
Alright, so you want to discuss your friend’s ninetieth boyfriend, that’s fine. But what’s with doing it while you drink wine that costs more than the check your family would receive if you sold your body to Science?
Tell you what, I’ll skip the enchanted toxin and take a Happy Meal from which ever fast food chain is currently promoting the coolest set of toys.
Please don’t misunderstand me . . . I interact with a TON of people.
I’m open minded and can be buddies with anyone. My favorite buddies are those who want to have lightsaber duels but I am totally capable of chilling with a friend at the mall as well.
But please ladies; if we DO go shopping, don’t have a heart attack just because Macys is offering you ten percent off your purchase of five-hundred dollars.
There’s no need to squeal like a pig, just calm down.
Now if you see that there’s a surprise Jim Lee signing at the local comic book store? Then yes, it’s perfectly acceptable for us to oink.
Until then, just breathe and slowly exit the store.
We didn’t come in here to buy five hundred dollars worth of socks just so we could receive a ten percent discount now did we?
No, we did not.
So Katie, as you grow older you may often feel like the only Wookiee in a sea of silicone Ewoks.
Don’t give up as you are NOT the only girl who values the greatness of gamer points.
The path to geek greatness is fraught with peril. There is always temptation to put down your blaster and give in to the power of the dark side. Prada, Reality Television . . . a Jedi craves not these things…
Until next time,
May the force be with you & Live long and Prosper.