Target has Season Two of True Blood on sale this week for $14.99 so I ventured out of Geekpropaganda headquarters to pick it up.
I was lucky enough to get the very last copy in the store and as such was in a very good mood when I got on line to pay.
The fact that Target had one copy of the DVD set left for me was some kind of divine intervention because I can assure you that if the following had occurred while I was in a bad mood, my actions would have been considerably less “tolerant”.
The cartoon emo punk up there is a pretty good representation of the kid who appeared next to me on line while I waited patiently to pay for my DVD set. He was about 17, disheveled looking with eyes that looked like they never fully open.
There was a woman on line in front of me paying for a large amount of groceries and I was standing in front of the large Diet Coke refrigerator. The aisle there is narrow with just about enough room for one person. Me. The kid ( we’ll call him Elmo going forward) stepped into the space between me and the diet sodas and stared at me for almost a minute before I noticed he was there.
ELMO: I don’t want to have to push you.
CALMIXX: I’m sorry?
ELMO: I’m just. It’s just that…
CALMIXX: It’s just what?
ELMO: I don’t want to push you.
CALMIXX: That’s a good instinct. Go with that.
ELMO: Seriously. I don’t want to push you.
CALMIXX: It’s true. You don’t. Just like Target doesn’t want me to split your head open on their end cap display.
ELMO: So how can I get, you know in there? (points at the refrigerator)
CALMIXX: You want to get a soda?
CALMIXX: You can say excuse me and then I could step forward for a second so you can get a soda. That would be a lot less rude than pushing me.
CALMIXX: Right what?
ELMO: I forgot the words.
CALMIXX: What words? Excuse me?
ELMO: Yeah. I forgot the words.
CALMIXX: Well you know them now.
ELMO: So ah . . .
CALMIXX: So say them.
ELMO: Excuse me.
CALMIXX: No. I don’t excuse you. And back up off me before I knock you the fuck out.
With this the woman in front of me who was waiting to pay and watching the exchange began to laugh so loud that the other shoppers stopped to see what had happened. Elmo apparently was not a big fan of the spot light so he sulked away. It was a shame really.
He looked thirsty.