I don’t know how often you get crushes on works of illustration but I find myself falling in lust with a new animated character everyday. Alright, maybe “EVERY day” is a slight exaggeration, but more often than not, I’m completely infatuated with a slew of luscious pixelated-men.
I’m aware that this could very well be leading me down the path to mental illness, but hey, at least I’m not out collecting strangers’ toe-nail clippings and using them to build a collosal toe-nail fungus monster that will destroy the world… (Or am I?)
I admittedly get a little carried away by men who can travel for days fighting and questing through drawn-together worlds without ever once stopping to change clothes and yet still manage to remain fresh as the morning sun.
Animated soul-mates are perfect! Why? There’s so much left unsaid, so little unknown… Whether it’s a video-game or a TV show, only so much is going to change about your art department designed lover. Yes, they may encounter typical human conundrums along the way (Contemplate cheating, question if they should join the evil forces of Cobra etc. and so forth.) but in the end if your partner is painted, you can rest assured that everything will work out & you’ll swoon so hard that you need to steal one of Zelda’s hearts because Link has stolen yours.
I still remember my first animated lover & to this day. He keeps a piece of my heart locked away in his incredibly nerd core chiseled body.
Tidus, from Final Fantasy X.
There will never be another man, (real or fake) who will captivate me the way Tidus did. I love the Final Fantasy games and have been on board since FFVII but it was when I controlled that beautiful boy with my joystick that Final Fantasy became my favorite video-game franchise of all time. Not only did I get to gaze upon such a fine creation… I GOT TO CONTROL THE FREAKIN’ THING!
Real. Good. Times. (sigh)
What were we talking about? Oh yeah – crushing on cartoon dudes . . .
So to all of Geek Propaganda’s incredible females, if you find yourself sad and lonely with no one to share your Kinect, just pop in your favorite DVD & right there you might find the man with the missing parts that can make you feel whole as a loaf of bread. (Hey – if he’s Inspector Gadget he may even have more parts than you need!)
Please understand however that I’m not professionally qualified to give such life altering advice, but neither is Oprah & EVERYONE listens to her without any questions, so you should treat me with same respect.
Until next time my friends, remember this:
You ARE the droid they’re looking for.