Suckerpunch is aptly named.

When the curtain literally opens on Zack Snyder’s Suckerpunch you wonder if this is going to be the rare big studio flick to actually live up to the hype.

Snyder obviously knows his graphic novel art history because the first three minutes tell a rather complicated tale of a Mother’s death, a Step Father’s betrayal and a victim’s counter attack gone horribly wrong.   It does so wordlessly, with a haunting re-imagining of The the Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams (are made of this)” as it’s soundtrack. It’s haunting, beautifully shot with not one unneeded frame and it sets you up for something really special.

And then they start talking.

As deeply entranced by the opening as I was – the first scene within the “dance club prison” (Don’t even ask) jarred me wide awake and into full “WTF” mode. It is heart breaking that something with so much potential comes off as Showgirls crossed with the Broadway musical Annie; mixed with generous helpings of Sailor Moon and a pinch of Madonna’s Express Yourself music video.

This is not to say that it is not visually interesting because it is flat out stunning to look at but this thing is dumb as a box of rocks. If it KNEW that it was DUMB it could sorta revel in that and add a level of fun – but Suckerpunch is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie in that it thinks it’s smart . . .but it’s really not.  Not at all. As a matter of fact Suckerpunch is a deep philosophical journey for Mongoloid Idiots. Everything is heavy handed and OBVIOUS but in the end the sticthes come loose and leave you scratching your head wondering WHAT the point was. But on the bright side it has hot anime looking chicks fighting Dragons and Steam Zombies and Robots and giant Samurai and a whole bunch of other stuff that makes you wish it was better than it is.

I can’t wait to see Snyder’s visual style set loose on the Man of Steel but I am begging Warner Brothers to keep him far the hell away from the script… Go check out Suckerpunch because why should we suffer alone.

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About calmixx

Calmixx is the Pseudonym of New York Artist/Writer Brian Mc- - HEY wait a minute. Why have a cool Pseudonym if you're just gonna tell people it's a Pseudonym? Yeah you can just call me Calmixx for now. Maybe if we have a third date I'll give up the last name but not without dinner. Check out my silly little blog and let me know what you think. Because I care. I really do. Really. Honest. Sorta.
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