The Internets Deliver . . .

Happened to come across this awesome little device at deals.woot.com and if you don’t believe me you can check it out for your own self here.

Now the device itself is not the thing. It’s a UFO detector being sold for $149.95.  You read that right – a UFO detector. For one hundred and Fifty bucks. On a DEAL website. So the irony is entertaining alone – but my friend Capta1n Awes0me*** told me to check the reviews. And so I did. And so should you…

 

I purchased this item and am blown away by its effectiveness. I started this device up and immediately detected not one, not two, but five seperate UFOs in my immediate area. I am currently working on a way to communicate with what I assume is an intelligent species visiting our planet, but so far, I have been unsuccessful. I am waiting to see if this company will be selling a UFO communications device in the near future. If it is anything like this detector, I will be extremely happy. Thank you for a great product !

But wait – there’s more :

After my first abduction I sought out to arm myself with something that would prevent this from happening to me again. Alas, the UFO Detector.

Since then my microwave, TV, radio, and cellphone have been causing the device to alarm several times, sending me in a state of panic where I’d hide under my bed for days. Next time it went off it was no false alarm. And I was, again, on board an alien vessle with probes hanging from every opening of my body.

I’d guess that for this “Detector” to work you’d need to be in an environment free from all electrical interferences. Above all, I DO NOT recommend this product.

One last one before I go …

Ok, how do I explain? I’ve been picked up off and on during the years. Each time I’m picked up, I get probed. And not just by a little gray. And not just once or twice. The whole darn ship of ’em line up to probe me. Repeatedly.

So, I bought this device, thinking that if it went off, I’d have time to escape to my lead-lined safe room, or at least grab a weapon. So what happened? Not what I expected. It didn’t give me any warning at all. The range is extremely limited. Only later did I see the disclaimer: “For best results, hold directly under saucer.”

Anyway, I woke up in the ship as I was being probed. And this stupid product was beeping. It kept beeping the whole time that I was being probed by every single crewman. Do you have any idea how annoying it can be to hear tinny beeping as you are being probed by a ship full of grays?

Worst of all, the company would not give me a refund.

***- Note to self – you really need some friends with names like “Steve” or “Bob”.

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About calmixx

Calmixx is the Pseudonym of New York Artist/Writer Brian Mc- - HEY wait a minute. Why have a cool Pseudonym if you're just gonna tell people it's a Pseudonym? Yeah you can just call me Calmixx for now. Maybe if we have a third date I'll give up the last name but not without dinner. Check out my silly little blog and let me know what you think. Because I care. I really do. Really. Honest. Sorta.
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