Welcome back! Sorry for making you wait, but I was on a bit of a sabbatical. Nothing like having some time to yourself to sit in your basement and watch every Justice League cartoon episode, making sure to create a contraption that allows the pizza or Chinese take-out man to come in, get paid, and bring me my food. Who needs a beach with a tropic drink when you have Papa Johns and Batman? Looking back at this opening, it’s a little more pathetic then I thought when I was writing it but I’m all about the forward motion so on to this weeks reviews.
This issue was pretty interesting. It showed three different Cobra groups preparing for what I’m guessing would be a struggle for power. Unfortunately, the Joes are getting caught in the middle, and a bunch of Joes died in the making of this issue. This is a prequel issue, so I’m looking forward to seeing which group, or formation of groups come out on top, and how it will effect the Joes going forward. Maybe someone will finally kill Cobra Commander, or they can put some dents in Destro’s head. I give this issue a 2 out of 5, because to be honest I have no idea where this one came from, but the series has the potential to cause a lot of shake-ups with the G.I. Joe universe. Well-done sirs.
Ok, so the reason I was watching Justice League during my absence was because I needed to see a Batman that made me proud. Most of the Batman books lately have been truly disappointing. With that said, this was a pretty good issue, succeeding in tying up the story nicely. I was very disappointed in this new villain at the beginning, but the final issue showed that he is someone to be reckoned with. He almost killed a large number of people, and then ran Batman and Robin around until they almost allowed all the villains in Arkham to be killed. But this issue was truly about the return of a more “normal” Batman. He was able to use his detective skills to figure out the plan, and then was able to kick any asses that needed kicking. It felt normal again: it felt right. I was able to come out of the basement after reading this issue, and I finally realized that everything in the Batman Universe was going to be ok. This wasn’t a great issue, but it was better. Lets give it a 3.5 out of 5. Keep it up so I can enjoy Batman again.
This is a very frustrating issue to review. On the one hand, it’s unquestionably better than last month’s debacle. In fact, it does a lot of things really, really right. Unfortunately, it also has many of the same major flaws from last month, which ultimately hamper the entire package. The biggest example of this is the division of the issue between two stories, in two different timelines, in a constant back-and-forth. We’re well into this arc now, and there is still absolutely no correlation between these two stories. There’s no hint of an explanation as to why they’re occupying the same issue. I feel like one story should be the New Avengers and the other should be a Secret Warriors flashback. It makes no sense, and why it will take 5 issues to explain it is leaving me wondering what Marvel is doing with this great team of heroes. Also, are they trying to kill off Mockingbird again, or are they trying to make her go back in time through a near death experience. That might make sense, but not by much. This story arc is confusing, and I hope it ends soon. I give it a .5 out of 5 because really neither story line is very interesting.
So I haven’t been reading too much of Superman lately, mostly because I am way too over the grounded storyline. But now I’m pretty much totally over Superman right now. This issue has Bruce Wayne meet up with Superman to talk about what Superman is doing, but then it goes to a story about a Batman/Superman team-up that took place before they became superheroes. So wait, they both blocked it out when they first meet? The world’s greatest detective wasn’t able to figure out that the farm boy that helped him in Tibet was actually Superman right off the bat? NO ONE MADE ANY MENTION OF THIS UNTIL NOW? REALLY? REALLY? Come on, it seems like the writers are just getting lazy, and don’t care about having things make sense. At this point I’m back to thinking that DC secretly hates Batman and Superman. This issue gets a .5 out of 5 because it makes no sense and makes me very angry.
Now the stories about one team screwing over the other team are over. It’s time to get the fight going. Iron Man vs. War Machine, Blade vs. Black Widow, Giant Man vs. Hawkeye, Fury vs. Cap, and Thor making his way slowly to the battle. This issue was great. Each team trying to stop the other from being traitors, when in actuality there is someone else pulling the strings, making the two teams fight. And right before Punisher is about to shoot Captain America, Spider-Man is the one who gets caught in the crossfire. This is going to lead to the death of Spider-Man, which from my understanding is going to stick. Peter Parker will die, and some one else will take over the Spider-Man mantle to continue the Ultimate Spider-Man comic. Are you serious? You’re killing the only interesting character the Ultimate Universe has left? Who’s going to replace him? A weird new form of Gambit, or Venom coming back as a good guy, or maybe Cap will get bitten my a radioactive writer that is trying to destroy the ULTIMATE UNIVERSE. Enough is enough. This issue gets a 3 out of 5, because it was a good issue, but not many more will be coming out of the Ultimate Universe.
I’m done for now. I’m going to morn the death of the Ultimate Spiderman. Please. A moment of silence.